As a leader, your followers will inevitably ask you for guidance, that is after all the point of leadership. We need to guide those who are following us so that they can understand what is required to succeed. This is why I believe that it is critical to choose your words carefully when providing direction.
So many times I hear people ask their boss “How do you want me to do this thing?” and so many times I hear a response back that starts something like “Here’s what I would do… / If it were me… / I’d probably do it like…”
That might seem harmless, but I’ve seen it destroy a culture of personal accountability.
They asked what do you want me to do, not what would you do. As a leader, you need to provide guidance for how you want it done and not for how you would do it. This simple wording change will make your desired outcomes that much more clear. They will be able to DO what you told them to do because you told them to do it.
From my experiences when I see leaders give direction in this way, those followers always feel like they’re being talked down to. They feel like their skills are being demeaned. Let me give an example.
Imagine a marketing company. There is a marketing director who has zero years of video editing experience, but she rocks at her job. One day one of the editors who spent years learning their craft asks her for advice. She turns around and tells them “I don’t know how you want to do it…but If it were me I would add this awesome transition scene where the side comes through, and it fades into a really cool color, I also would add a camera shake here too!” I’ve seen this happen enough time for the editors to look back at that person with disgust. First, because these grand requests are always more time consuming than intended. Second, because if that is how you would do it…why don’t you just do it then?
This creates a culture where the Leaders can’t actually do the things they're asking for, and employees don’t want to do that task because they’ve been undervalued.
I truly believe that if that person started the conversation by saying “I want you to do this…” then ended it with “Do you think that is possible” It gives the employee the feeling that their skills are valued and whether or not it is possible is up to them since they are the ones who will actually be doing the work. When an employee has very clear direction and they are the ones saying that this task is possible then they are more energetic about DOING the task.
This may not work in all industries, or for all people. But that makes it more important for you as a leader to build relationships with your followers to understand what sort of guidance work style they prefer. But never tell someone that “Well I would do this” If you can’t actually back it up and do it yourself. Don’t undermine the skills of the people that YOU brought onto YOUR team.
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